Dandelion update

 It's been a hot minute since I've written about life in the frozen North of 60. We have survived the dark and the freeze and there is daylight starting to reach across the sky at 5:30 in the morning and it's lingering until roughly 10 at night. The weather shifted suddenly to warmer a couple of weeks ago and the melt has been quick and intense! The wind is helping the water evaporate, even though it also brought in more chilly temperatures too.

Easter is upon us! Just wrapping up the long weekend where it actually felt restful and like a weekend! Hubby and I intentionally slowed the days down; we had lots of church (Hubby filled in at a local church for Easter Sunday), not a lot of shopping, some family volunteering, and lots of walks. Advance polls were open today so Smarty and I exercised our civic duty to have our voices count; Hubby did his through work last week and this was Smarty's first election as an adult. So exciting!!

Work and school have been busy for everyone, with the weeks feeling pretty long sometimes. This sunshine is absolutely helping with the days and now the countdown is on for summer. Only 9 weeks left of the school year here!

Girlie got her first job aside from babysitting! She is only 1 week into her new role and so far she's enjoying it. Monkey is busy staying active with soccer through school a couple of times a week. She had such a blast with the volleyball and basketball teams, I'm glad she's choosing to stay active with her peers.

Today the whole family went to the SPCA to volunteer and walk a few puppies; I am happy to report we did NOT bring home a new fur baby :) though a few hearts were stolen by wagging tails and smiley puppy faces.

I have some seedling started for planting in our garden boxes one the snow and ice are gone from on top of them. I suspect it's going to be more than a few weeks until it's safe to put them into the ground.

We are approaching the 1 year anniversary of when Hubby and I took the trip up here to look at our housing and it's hard to believe a year is nearly gone. This is a place so different than any other we've lived in and the challenges of any transition and move are still very real, though they are settling down. We managed to get a very brief trip down to Alberta during our spring break and that was incredibly helpful in a lot of ways. We had some heartbreak as we saw friends and had to say goodbye again, but there was a sense of “it's going to be good to get home” as we were driving north again.

Home isn't the place we live, it's where our little family unit rests; it's where the Floofs are and where our beds are. Home is wherever we happen to land for however long we land for. We're just finishing up with the month of April, which is the month of the Military Child; the flower that represents the Military Child is a dandelion – they plant themselves wherever they land and they flourish. Looking back at the years we have now called home to 10 different addresses since Hubby and I got married. Only 5 of those have been while he's been in the military. Our children are building themselves into some amazing people, not only because they are amazing and wonderful kids; they are gaining some amazing life experiences that a lot of people don't get to have. Part of that is because they are dandelions :)

There are no actual dandelions growing here right now, the ground is still too frozen. But the seeds are flourishing regardless.

The only way out is through

 There has been a lot on my mind recently; some family and parent related, some work and child related, a lot of overlap with relationship between home/school/church/current events and trends.

One of the teens said something the other week and when I started to respond they stopped me and said “wait, we've talked about this before. You're gonna tell me X, Y, and Z. And you're right.” That felt like an amazing moment. I will also add that even though they said they knew what they ought to do/say, they did not in fact do/say the thing. That's a human thing though. There are some things we can't help but do even when we know we ought to do differently. But we can keep trying.

I love the relationships we have with our children. I love the relationships that they have with us; they are always texting fun things that cross their mind, they ask thought-provoking questions and want to be involved in deeper conversations, they push back a little when we ask them to do something but usually not very hard. They know there are reasons for us asking things of them. I can genuinely say that I enjoy the people our children are, and I choose to spend time with them.

I came across something someone said or posted online somewhere; they said that their goal as a parent was to be someone their children would choose to be around. I feel it's the other way around – we have so much input into our children, how do we take what they are when they're born and turn them into people we enjoy spending time with? I'm not talking about being your child's best friend instead of their parent; they need a parent, not a friend. But I'm talking about actual work and input; things like “this is how you have a conversation. This is what is acceptable in public. This is the proper use of sarcasm and dark humour. This is how to stay within a boundary for yours and everyone else's sake.”

Things like resilience and when to listen to what your body is telling you and when to push through because it will make you stronger. Tough lessons like “the only way out is through” and “sometimes it's gonna be painful but it'll pass eventually”. Things like how to live in moderation without too much self-denying or self-indulging; the balance that life needs to be fulfilling and worthwhile. In order to make well-rounded adults we need well-rounded children; ones who are able to do difficult things even when they don't want to, ones who are able to think outside the box and outside themselves, ones who can make us smile with their wit (even biting wit) instead of shake our heads at the meanness of their roasting.

It is a lot of work to teach, model, and sculpt children into amazing adults but it's better than the alternative; having children who are so self-focused they aren't able to consider a greater/broader good, or ones that are just nasty to everyone simply because they can be. It means being the one who makes and keeps the boundaries. It means being the adult in the relationship that makes sure the right thing is done. It means making choices with long-term goals in sight, not just what's easy or fun in the moment. It looks like balancing out life with some fun and some not-so-fun. It looks like being yelled at by a small tyrant when they're angry and you have to keep your resolve or they're gonna learn that if they're loud they'll get their way. It looks like worrying that you aren't doing enough, or feeling like you're failing.

The important thing is to keep showing up, keep doing your best. You can only do what you can do, and you might need to find creative ways to keep your sanity, but it will get better. As Littles turn into Biggers the challenges are still there but they shift as their needs shift. But when the foundations are laid early on, it becomes less bumpy because the foundation is so strong.

Educators have a rough time right now, the swing toward gentle parenting (that is actually permissive parenting in how so many parents practice it...) and the use of technology with social media at young ages make the classroom a nightmare of behaviours and personalities. And schools can only do so much without the support of the families to re-direct the energy of the students away from picking at each other to building each other up and working to get through an issue or a difficult situation.

One step at a time, the only way out is through. Together we'll get it eventually.

Happy New Year!

 It's been busy and it's been a roller coaster. It's been cold. It's gotten warmer. It's gotten colder again. Monkey had her choir concert (which was absolutely lovely) and we survived the last few weeks of school before the winter break. We went to 2 Christmas Eve church services (one with the Pentecostals, one with the Anglicans with frankincense) and then the Christmas morning service again with the Anglicans.

It was our first Christmas without the Magic (after a deep conversation with the youngest after last Christmas) and my Christmas morning was a lot more emotional than I was expecting. I woke up abruptly with vivid images of blond curly hair, holidays past, and I had a difficult time keeping the tears from flowing all morning. Survived though.

We took a very serious approach to the winter break this year, with the goal being hibernation. We ate, we slept, we hunkered down. There were a handful of times that we went to the track to just move our bodies, but for the most part we enjoyed the warmth of the house and the took advantage of the darkness. It fed our souls.

Smarty and Sergeant worked through the last 2 weeks and that added some structure to the days somewhat. Tomorrow school and work starts back up for everyone else and I think it's going to be rough for a couple of days. Last night most of the Littles slept in the living room and everyone has been sleeping later when they have a chance to. So tonight will be an earlier bedtime and alarms will be set for the morning and we'll try to hit the ground running. At least that's the goal.

Tomorrow also marks the beginning of my next semester of classes. At Hubby's suggestion I took this last term off to help with the family transitioning to the move. I'm looking forward to checking three more courses off my to-do list and getting closer to realizing some goals of mine :) Plus it's good modelling for the Littles that learning doesn't stop and it's important to work steadily to reach goals.

I think that wraps up 2024 for us. New Years Eve we went to the Mess for a family pot-luck and watched some fireworks from there. Then we went home, changed into pjs and played cards for most of what was left of the evening. It was a quiet midnight celebration and very different than we've celebrated in the past, but it was perfect for the year we've had.

Hoping the year ahead of us has fewer upheavals and more smooth roads than the last year! But even those have been positive in the long run, just challenging for the shorter term.