Thursday, April 22, 2010

thoughts for parents

I have been seeing some interesting things online lately that simply confuse me. One of them, while I applaud the overreaching goal of acclamation and pride, just bugs me for some reason. When I was on facebook earlier a couple of women had this posted in their status:
I traded eyeliner for dark circles, salon hair cuts for ponytails, long showers for hairy legs, late nights for early mornings, designer purses for diaper bags and I wouldn't change a thing!! I LOVE MY KIDS!!!! With Mother's day drawing near lets see how many Mom's Repost this. Mom's don't care what we gave up and ...will continue to give up for
Like I said, I appreciate that these and other women are happy and proud of their "mom" status. What I don't understand is the underlying tone of martyrdom. Yes, as parent we give up things for our children. We don't have the luxury of spending the day in bed when we feel like poo. We can't just go out and stay out to all hours of the night. The impromptu excursions are at an end when you have to plan around feedings, naps, and diaper changes. Kids have some incredible mood swings so you really never know how they will be in public, no matter how good a day they were having up to that point. These are simple facts. The thing is that everyone who gets into this whole "parent"thing (at least theoretically) knows this.

Maybe it's just a kneejerk reaction, but I can't measure my love for my children by the things I've given up and wouldn't change for the world. I look at my boys and all I feel is incredibly lucky and blessed to have them. There are times when both Hubby and myself feel like it would have been nice if we hadn't had that first "oops!" but it is no more than a fraction of a second. Our lives are so much richer because of the way things are now. The smiles, the hugs, the laughter, but also the battles, the clashing of wills, and the time outs.

Granted, according to some, we're still in the easy years. The challenges that occur through toddler and preschool years are nothing compared to what some parents go through with teenagers. That being said, I do firmly feel that the foundations laid early in life will make it at least a little bit easier later.

I'm proud to be a mother of two of the finest, adorable boys that ever graced the planet (biased, though the opinion may be). I love the hugs and cuddles at all hours of the day or night (I may not appreciate them at 2 am, but I know how important those hugs are too). I clean up after them when they are healthy and when they are sick. I bathe them, kiss their ouchies, gives hugs and kisses. I feed them, I treat them, I discipline them. Part of the thing here though, is that I don't do these things alone. Hubby does all of these things and more. When all the boys want is me, he picks up and does what I'm not able to do. I find it an honour to see the bond growing between these males in my life.

Enough said. I know that the post above is primarily because Mother's Day is approaching. I guess I figured that Mother's Day was a chance for the kids and fathers to voice appreciation instead of mothers tooting their own horn. I don't need an excuse to do that, I do it every single day. If I'm told that I'm doing a great job mothering, I always say that it's easy to be a great parent when you have such great kids to work with, but I also acknowledge that there is still alot of work put in to forming these angels. I just wish more parents stopped focussing on what they've given up and started noting the blessings intsead.

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