parenting rant

I know I just posted this morning, but I just turned off the TV because I just couldn't handle it. What was I watching? Supernanny. I have my training in childcare, I'm aware of the nature and development of children. I am disgusted that there are parents who, even for a minute, allow their children to walk all over them. Yes, there are difficult children and compliant children. Yes, the easy path is called that for a reason. IT IS NOT WORTH IT!!!!!!

I have been told that my children are wonderful. They are, I'm the first to admit it biased though I am.However, I don't dismiss it and say that they are always listening, always obedient, and never defiant. They wouldn't be children if they were those things.

From the very beginning it has to be established that you are the parent and they are the child. I'm not saying that you can't be your child's friend, only that you are first and foremost a parent. That means disciplining. That means following through. That also means applauding when something is done well, when the listening actually happens.

Granted, my parenting techniques haven't stood the test of time yet. Hard to see how the kids will ultimately turn out when they are so young yet. But I feel that I have great kids because my best efforts are being put into them. There are many battles. The emotional and mental ones tire you out the most. They are testing the boundaries because it is the only way they see where the lines are drawn. If an authority figure is always giving in, there are no boundaries and the pushing will continue.

Every now and then the boys will push an issue, whether it's biting, hitting, cleaning, or food related. They are checking to see if the rules have changed. Sometimes they do, most times they don't. There are certain non-negotiables (No, your teeth are for food, not your brother's arm) but there are also things that don't matter as much all the time (yeah, okay, you can have the sucker this time).

There also has to be a logical punishment for infractions. Safety is always a time out for us. You bite, hit, or run away in a store, you get a time out. If they don't pick up the toys, they don't get to play with them later. (I usually start picking up and say that they won't be able to play with them, but I would. They rush to help) It's hard to stick with the punishment once it's said but, generally if you follow through once or twice it's all that's needed.

I just couldn't believe my eyes tonight, though. I sometimes have watched to get ideas, but I didn't even get that far into the program tonight. Those parents were at their wits end! They'd tried everything, but I have the sneaking suspicion that they didn't try early enough in the children's lives.

Oy vey!