A Handful of Birthday Reflections

37.  I don't put much thought into getting older, not since becoming an adult really.  In my mind and spirit I'm still 20 or so, which causes a little dissonance when I notice my first born is taller than me and is almost at an age to start driving... over the last year my hair colour has changed a few times, and I have an appointment tomorrow to change it again, but I watch my roots with an interest that I notice is less common. I see white hairs and they make me smile.  They are more coarse than the rest of my hair, more curly, and every few months I notice a few more. Hubby says I'm imagining things, as does Smarty. Sergeant sees them and tells me I'm not old enough yet to have them. 

They are badges though.  They show that the last handful of years have affected me differently than the previous ones.  It's that or everything is starting to catch up, I'm not sure.  I have lived and survived, am continuing to survive, even thrive in a lot of ways.  These interesting times we currently live in aren't really going to stop, children will always be children as will teenagers.  Family dynamics will continue to cause joy and frustration, and the learning and growing will never stop. 

Growing doesn't stop.  Girlie doesn't want to grow up.  This has been a consistent fear of hers, she has had bedtime tears surrounding it since she was 4.  However, she will be turning 10 in 3 months and needs to have some of the types of conversations she would rather not have; you know the ones I mean - age, puberty, body changes.  We have had them before, age appropriate but still very open as we are an open and body-positive family.  She really dislikes them but I think I have finally helped her understand that she needs to know and be aware, even if she doesn't like to talk about any of it. 

We try our best to set the kids up for success.  For fitness and heart health, for communication with others, for conflict resolution, for faith and spiritual growth.  This time of school-directed home learning has been incredible for my own growth and the kids.  A little more pushing than I'd like to have done on my part, but it's forced me to take a more active role in a lot of ways that I hadn't been taking and I have noticed bits of maturity changes in the kids, the older couple in particular.  I have enjoyed seeing the increase in awareness of what time some assignments will take, how to plan out the week so there is time for fun as well as work, pride in a really good test mark, paying more attention to detail.  I have grown as a parent and the children are growing into amazing people.